Needless to say, even four and a half months in, the learning curve of this adventure is still very steep. I know that it has only been a week since I have written, and I wanted to capture these emotions and thoughts while they were fresh, before I forget to remember.
I feel like I am still, for lack of a better word, recovering, after the busyness of the holiday. Can anyone relate? I’m working on getting back into my routine and trying to feel a little bit more regulated. I had a realization last week when we were in New Orleans, I am not the same person I was a year ago. Then thinking about it even further I’m not the same person I was four and a half months ago.
In this segment of, multiple things can exist at the same time, I am compelled to share that I can show an amazing amount of growth and regression at the same time. I also had a forest through the trees moment about how much my environment impacts energy. Seems like a no-brainer doesn’t it?
We went into our week in New Orleans, already feeling a little low on the energy scale, to move into a very disgusting place. If you remember how terrible the first place we moved into in Saint Paul was, you understand why that is a measure for the acceptability of all future places we stay. We told ourselves that it wasn’t as bad as that place, so we could handle it. This was our first time back to New Orleans in eight years so I return to the fact that I’m not even the same person I was eight years ago. Not only have my standards changed, also who I know myself to be as a person. My need to honor myself, my emotions and give myself what I need. I will no longer stay in a place, situation or environment that does not align with my truth.
We did make it five days in the horrible place, until a sleepless night due to rain, caused us to make the decision to move. I was proud of myself for the way I handled the situation and how I was able to step up and take care of my family. Previous Alison would have been bitching the whole time. Current Alison was able to find a hotel that had secure parking included, pack up our entire second floor apartment by myself because Dave was working, move it into the Civic and then into the hotel. I feel like I showed a good amount of grace that I may not have in the past. I also was proud of how Dave and I processed that situation together and agreed that we do not have to settle. That it is OK to give ourselves what we need. I also felt like we both heard each other and received each other’s thoughts and opinions the way that they were intended, without having to explain. I know that we will continue to honor each other’s feelings moving forward. I feel like my energy while in New Orleans, is evidenced by how few pictures I actually took while I was there. Interesting.
We are now in the middle of a week with Dave’s cousin and wife and Houston, and it has been absolutely lovely to be here! To see their lives and get to know them better is priceless. The sun is shining today so I took a road trip to explore Galveston. I am sending love to you wherever you may be!
