Gratitude

Dave and I in Jamaica on Spring Break. Little did I know, one week later, on March 28th, 2022, I would be diagnosed with breast cancer.

It was January 4th, 2023. I had been stuck in the swamlows for three days due to the lovely Minnesota weather and that is where the inspiration for this first post came to be.

Flashback to cancer. That is how this adventure began. I had cancer. Breast cancer.  

Granted the desire to travel and see the world had been on our hearts for well over 10 years, basically our entire relationship, but cancer is what lit the fire. To be honest, technically Dave agreed that after he finished grad school- one more year- we could leave. Also, technically, he told me this when we were in Jamaica, seen here in this photo, for spring break just a week before I received my diagnosis. So I can’t blame cancer completely, but it didn’t hurt in helping move the ball forward. 

Honestly, I’m thankful that I had cancer. I was lucky. They caught it early. I was able to have a bilateral mastectomy even though I only had cancer in one breast. Negative margins. Only one lymph node was taken. And, more than any emotion around having cancer, the one that is the strongest, is gratitude. Gratitude for Dave and for my oncologist having me get checked every six months since my lumpectomy two years prior. Gratitude for our incredible circle of love and support that we’ve cultivated. I was completely humbled and simultaneously blown away by how the people in our life showed up for us! 

I am grateful for the fact that the universe brought me to Noble Elementary eight years ago. I haven’t regretted that decision a single second. Gratitude for my relationship with my principal. His ability to create a space of trust and support so that I didn’t have to worry about missing the last month of school which, for a teacher, can feel like a death sentence.

Gratitude for the pandemic. It forced me to slow down, to think, process; to be with myself. It forced me to re-prioritize what really matters in my life and get rid of anything that no longer serves me or the life I’m trying to live. The life I’m trying to manifest. The two years I had spent surviving the pandemic was the exact preparation I needed to face my cancer diagnosis head on from a place of gratitude.  As Alex Elle states, “I am no longer healing to survive and get by. I’m healing to thrive and live an emotionally-well nourished life. Healing isn’t just for our lowest lows or our most broken moments. It’s also an important reminder to be in our joy. Healing in survival mode is no longer an option for me this year. I am more than what I’m healing through.”

This is my mantra for 2023…

I will manifest the life I want to live and continue to let go of what no longer serves me!